Lately, banyak sangat benda yang bermain di fikiran. And before that, alhamdulillah alhamdulillah , alhamdulillah fify gonna be an engineer soon. Sounds weird but thats it...
Hmm, walaupun sebenarnya hati macam ragu-ragu nak terima, tapi takpe, cuba dulu.. kalau tak kena hati, berhenti.
At last, I followed my unexpected plan, which is balik Malaysia, kerja and at the same time sambung master in Project Management (construction related) and I plan to be a project manager, insyaAllah.. and keputusan balik Malaysia cuma satu： ibu ayah
And to be honest, I am not that type of what we always called "family oriented person" cause I know, every single action I take, I never ask permission from them. And I am the only daughter who always break the rules. Never been in the house for too long when long holidays was me, as I don't feel like being in home. Home = stressload.
At the age of 23, on last spring holidays, I just realized that being home is the only way I can make my parents happier. ='(
And, from that moment, I changed my mind not to work in Japan, although that is the thing that I've planned a long time ago, and I also got a dream of having my dream car after working in Japan for a year. Well, well.. it's time to say goodbye to my dream car, and all the duniawi here.
I've been thinking about too many pros and cons if working in Japan. After listing the pros and cons, I found out that I don't think that I am suited to work here, as I am not discipline enough and I am very bad at stress management.
For me, working in Japan means no 'life'. Wait, I know not all people means the same.
'Life' in this situation for me is:
～ I can eat my mom's cook whenever I feel I want to after balik kerja ke..
～I can go home,be with family whenever I want
～ I can ask any of my friends to have dinner together or listening to my probs,story, blablabla
～I can spend times many more with family
～ Foodsss. As food lover, I can eat what I want anywhere. Heehee I love Jalan Jalan Cari Makan. Tell me where's the best food no matter what the distance is, I'm sure I'll have my leg there.
～ Home, home, home, home. FULLSTOP.
So here the challenging part is,
MONEY vs LIFE
Although I've pushed the ON button, but seriously.. back for good is like something that really scared me enough. Everyday, I feel so scared being in Malaysia. Of course it's all about money don'tcha. But, everyday jugak I try to persuade my self, Allah kan dah sediakan rezeki untuk setiap orang, so why would you scare.. and I just believe, good things will come if we make our parents happier. =') insyaAllah.
Secondly, yeah. Of course I don't feel safe in Malaysia. Lagi-lagi di jalan raya. I guess I have to listen to my ayah's opinion, that he gonna be my driver to go work. Haha. I am too scare to drive, coz I feel so disgusted with the Malaysian.. bila di jalanan terus berubah jadi syaitan. Turun kereta bukan main ayu, sopan santun, tapi bila di jalan raya, terus keluar tanduk syaitan. You wanna show off your driving skill, pergilah maen kat litar. Ok, fullstop.
Then, I've been thinking many ways in order to survive in Malaysia, as my friend just warned me saying "Fy, nak keje kat Malaysia kena buat side income fy, zettai."
Almost every night I can't sleep well cause my brain can't stop thinking, what I wanna do beside work. I am interested in joining hartanah thingy, pelaburan, saham, etc. And I also got too many plans. But the sad thing is, all plans need money.
Menyesal kadang memang menyesal sebab tak kumpul duit. But then I try to recall back where are all my money gones, it makes me a bit relief. I guess I've spend a lot of my money on travelling, seeing the world which I guess experience that money can't buy, besides it's okay to spend money just to make people happy, or those who needed, and last thing.. apelah nak di compare duit untuk fam dengan kasih sayang yang diberikan. No regret, then.
I've always pegang kata-kata ayah,
"Dalam rezeki kita sebenarnya ada rezeki orang. Kalau kita kaya, kita pegang amanah untuk tolong yang susah." =')
But trust me, rezeki itu always akan ada saat2 kita susah selagi kita tolong orang. Buat orang happy pun kira tolong juga =) Noted that.
Hmmm, ok sampai sini sahaja luahan hati. Gonna update soon about my upcoming plans coz I have to start planning on my budget here and there, and a little bit research about my plan. Till then, see ya.
