Kesian blog dah berhabuk, sebab lately too many things to decide by pemilik blog. Ok lets postpone that thing... will talk about it later. Gonna update in English, cause my English suck day by day. So, again and again pardon my language.
Hmm, I don't know where to start, but above title.. I guess it could tell you many things. YES, I am not gonna talk about all the what we called "nonsense-stupid-love-relationship" , but hmm its all about what I've learnt so far from the man that I adore(unrealized) 6 years ago and what I feel after experiencing 4 times of heart-broken.
After break-up with past boyfriend, yes I felt like Im gonna lock my heart and throw away the key to the pacific ocean, so no one could open the lock. But, hmm it is just a decision when I feel that I can't trust any man.
But.. after taking a deep breath, and a long time of thinking, why wouldn't I try to open my heart to the one that I still have my heart on him since 6 years ago??? And honestly that was my what so called the "1st sight love" maybe.
But the question why now, you wanna try??why not 6 years before? I guess people are the same, we don't have the 'jishin', confidence , as like the person that we like is no way to feel the same, or at least to have the courage to get to know us. Therefore, along the 6 years, I've let many new person into my life till I learnt that each of them was the wrong person that I shouldn't meet at all. Back then I realize, after reading this quote "Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for the gift."
And,maybe God wants me to learn something from the person that I've met so that I can improve in my marriage relationship.
Last month, me and him got into a conclusion, for me it is a new fact that I just realized out of sudden when we chatting about relationship.
1st, in many common relationship when it comes to love from just one side. For example the man loves the girl but the girl not. In this case, the girl will experience 2 phase or cycle in that relationship whereas
1st phase: the man is trying so hard to get her heart..the man will do anything and the momentum starts.
2nd phase: when he finally got her heart. The momentum starts to slow down because he has used all his energy on the 1st phase. And banggggg!at the end, the girl feels that he didn't appreciate her. Finally.. the relationship is going nowhere..
Without realizing anything, that kind of conversation pops up in my mind and that is the exactly what I feel from the previous relationship.
Sekarang, in this min, sec.. I still learning on how to have a stable relationship. Too many new things that I learnt from this man somehow open up a bit of my mind. I used to be the one who always the accepter in relationship but I know, not everyone will chase you like forever. People have limit. Its time for me to learn the give and take, and give more without expecting the returns.
I don't know why I found the way he is when in relationship was so cool and "bertuahnya perempuan yang jadi teman hidup dia.." always come up into my mind. And honestly he didn't make that too much effort, I mean he got his own way to make his effort.. and most important thing is he always there when I need someome to talk the most. From what I observed, I believe he is kinda a sweet man with his wife as he always simpan his sweetness walaupun kadang terkantoi. Hehe. Ok no sweet talk here, and let it be the secret between us.
Hmm, last but not least, I believe sweet man does exist.
P/s: can't wait for you to spill out the sweetness =') will patiently wait tough.
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